


The funny thing about life (and the things we can’t seem to get away from, no matter how hard we try)

by stcrdusttttt1



Series: The Knowledge of passion (and other things that set your heart alight) [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: First names only we die like legends, Hinata Shouyou Can't Play Volleyball, Hinata Shouyou navigating his way through life, Hinata Shouyou-centric, I’ll see myself out, M/M, Never refer to Shouyou as Hinata, Spoilers!!, and kind of throughout?, anime only’s beware, haha get bcs the title?, i love him so much with everything i have, implied kagehina, it’s hard out here sometimes, no beta reading either, shouyou is trying his best, taking a real risk here but thats the funny thing about being impatient, theres a lot of them for the manga, they don’t kiss or anything, though they should probably do that after the timeskip, toward the end oops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:35:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27658252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stcrdusttttt1/pseuds/stcrdusttttt1
Summary: Hinata learns the facts of life on his own accord, but learns the feeling of freedom through volleyballBe fearless in the pursuit of what sets your heart on fire.  — Jennifer LeeI’ve never been a natural, all i do is try try try. I’m still on that trapeze, I'm still trying everything, to keep you looking at me. — taylor swift, mirrorball
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Series: The Knowledge of passion (and other things that set your heart alight) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2023102
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	The funny thing about life (and the things we can’t seem to get away from, no matter how hard we try)

**Author's Note:**

> okay!! here we are!!!   
> shoutout to the last hq ep which went CRAZY and gave me pouting kageyama (exactly what i deserve) which is kinda what started the mess you’re about to read.......but ANYWAY!!  
> if u wanna listen to something when reading i’d recommend folklore by taylor swift (particularly mirrorball, the 1 and peace) but it definitely isnt mandatory bcs tbh i listened to good news by meg while writing HSKDHDKDJFLF  
> wait around for the end notes btw!! there’s some stuff there that kinda wraps up what i couldn’t put in the actual fic, see you there <3  
> 

i. 

There are facts in this world that the average human being will never be able to escape, and more personalised facts that a person will just have to cope with and embrace. 

Volleyball was never an established fact of life for Shouyou Hinata, but it will be, he’ll learn about that soon enough. 

But that’s another thing about the world that Shouyou hasn’t learnt yet, it throws opportunities to your feet and waits with curiosity for you to make a move, to see if you’ll take the bait.

Shouyou’s childhood was just as adventurous and curious as you would expect from the tangerine haired boy, he was the kind of child who bounced off the walls with the amount of energy he had, unsurprisingly difficult to handle when you needed him to be the opposite, but Shouyou took that sort of stuff in his stride and continued his search for his substantial facts. 

Shouyou was 7 years old when he fell over while trying to ride his bicycle. He tells people he always knew how to ride a bike but that isn’t the truth in the slightest. People like Shouyou Hinata have to work for their talent, they have to run for it, have to chase it until the weight of their frustration at not reaching what they want feels like a dull ache in their bones and a familiar weight in their lungs. This is a fact that Shouyou will know soon enough, and will hate. But that doesn’t mean he can’t be thankful for it all the same.

Shouyou grows up, as everyone does, it’s a thing that everyone experiences, but is different to every person that experiences it. He’s got a sister now, who’s sweet and as curious as he was when he was young, whom he loves with all his might. He finally mastered bike-riding. He realised that he may not grow as much as he was hoping to, but that fact makes Shouyou more determined than ever to find what he’s searching for so desperately. 

Shouyou was 11 years old when he found what he was looking for. The world threw an opportunity at his feet and waited to see if he would take the bait. 

The orange haired boy was riding down his usual path, an ordinary day in every sense of the word, when he made a stop around his usual street and saw something he’ll never forget. 

Volleyball is a simple concept. Two teams, one net. Three passes to get the ball onto the floor of the opposing team’s side of the court. The feeling Shouyou had when he saw the Little Giant that perfect spike was anything but simple. 

That’s the funny thing about revelations like the one Shouyou had that day, standing there starstruck staring wide eyed at the tv on that friday morning, you never really know they’re revelations until you’re older and you truly and certainly know who you are and what you want from life. You think back on those little and seemingly insignificant moments from the perspective of a person looking into your life, like a child gazing curiously at a snowglobe and you consider the domino effect that one singular moment had on your life. And you feel yourself smiling, knowing the blood, sweat and tears was all worth it. 

This was no ordinary day, not in Shouyou’s opinion, he felt like something in his veins had caught alight. 

He tells his parents he’s thinking about joining the volleyball club at Yukigaoka that night at dinner. 

Shouyou took the bait like he would fade into nothingness without it. 

ii. 

But just because he took the bait, doesn’t mean the world won’t make him work for the achievement at the end of the line. Shouyou Hinata has to work to be able to stand on the top of the world, a fact he’ll have to learn over and over again. 

“What? I’m the only club member?” Shouyou asked, with dejection evident in the sound of his youthful voice and face.

“Yeah, the numbers go down every year.” The staff member sat down and explained with sympathy. “Oh, and boys volleyball isn’t an actual team, it’s just a club.“ Shouyou absorbs this information, unsettled in the idea of doing this on his own. 

“So, what do you want to do? Join another club altogether? Or, you can join the girls’ volleyball club if you like.” 

After quickly rejecting the latter suggestion with a blush covering his face, he pondered the initial question. 

‘What do you want to do?’

‘I want to play, I have to play’. He thinks of that day, when the little giant took flight, and knew in his heart that’s who he wanted to be and wouldn’t give up becoming that without a fight. ‘I’ll give everything if it means I can play’. 

“It’s okay. I’ll do it alone.” 

And in 3 years, he ran after the volleyball player he wanted to be, giving everything to the cause. 

It became a routine for him. Get a ball and go to the corner of the gym, slam the ball on the ground, wait for it to hit the wall, jump for the spike and hit it. slam, wait, jump, hit. He thought about the sounds of the ball hitting the ground as he spiked, and the sight of achievement when looking at his red hand, and somewhere along the way these things became a sanctuary for him. 

He ran as fast as he could toward the little giant, towards victory. And he gave everything toward the cause. 

But everything 14 year old Shouyou had wasn’t enough.

Shouyou recovered from the last play of the Yukigaoka vs Kitagawa First match, where he was finally able to show that stuck-up and mean setter that goes by Tobio Kageyama what he was truly capable of, only for the ball to be out of bounds. 

Shouyou felt something keeping him tethered to the ground, when all he’s ever wanted was to be free. 

‘High athletic ability, reflexes, a sense of how to control his body and finally, a drive to win. With all of that put together--‘

“what have you been wasting your time with for the last three years?” Kageyama asks him, frustrated but ultimately ignorant in the topic of Shouyou’s struggle. 

The referee pushed the two teams apart, Kageyama and Shouyou went in their respective separate directions, not knowing a particular school watching in the stands was waiting for the right moment to pull them back together. 

Yukigaoka left the stadium, the atmosphere being much more depressing at their exit opposed to the excitement Shouyou felt upon entering the building. His friends were saying something to him, trying to console him. He appreciated that, and them, for everything they’ve done for him despite their constant reluctance. But he wouldn’t tell them that, because the one person on Shouyou’s mind had appeared in front of three boys once again. 

Shouyou inhaled the air surrounding him, and thought about the last thing Tobio Kageyama had said to him. 

What have you been wasting your time with for the last three years?

‘I was doing everything to get right in front of you, so you can look at me right now. And I still have more to give, if you’ll let me.’

At the sight of Tobio Kageyama, Shouyou found that he still had some fight in him. He gave everything to be like the little giant, and he’ll give even more, if it means he wins against the setter. 

Shouyou exhaled and ran after him. 

“You!” Kageyama turns, and waits for Shouyou to say his piece, slightly curious about what he wants to say despite his belief that he wasted his time. “If you’re supposed to be the king who rules the court, then I’m going to defeat you, and stay on the court the longest!” 

All of the frustration, fluffed spikes, and dejection that Shouyou was feeling finally let itself be expressed in the form of tears, which he didn’t bother to wipe away. 

The meeting of Kitagawa first and Yukigaoka that day was chance, but what Shouyou just said made sure that fate would do its job in bringing them back together. 

“Only the winner gets to stay on the court,” Kageyama tells him, unimpressed “Only the strong. If you want to stay on the court, get stronger.” Kageyama challenges, walking away. 

And if you get really good, somebody even better will come and find you, the words of the setter’s grandfather, is what Kageyama doesn’t tell the orange haired boy, because he already found someone better. 

And that’s the funny thing about promises, Shouyou eventually learns, they have no sort of time limit, no expiry date. The challenge posed between them lingers between them for years to come. Keeping them intertwined despite their initial protests. 

Shouyou slows down in his chase for the Little Giant, and turns his sights toward Tobio Kageyama. 

iii. 

The funny thing about life (which Shouyou doesn’t think is particularly funny in this current moment) is that it will never stop surprising you. 

Shouyou could not have expected Tobio Kageyama to be at Karasuno, a school he had planned to attend since he saw the Little Giant spike and win the point for his team, nor does he know what he did to deserve this to be the chosen sequence of events. 

Probability has no memory, but fate never forgets. 

Promises last forever. 

Kageyama has a bad attitude toward his teammates, a fact that he’s trying to change, but something like that doesn’t adjust overnight. But his skill precedes the boy, and he becomes someone Shouyou (reluctantly) admires (in the context of volleyball. That’ll change to something new with time.) 

Despite what the pair thinks of each other, they’re a package deal now. A pair of monsters, hungry for victory. 

◌◌◌

But their hunger wasn’t enough. Hunger has never been enough to get Shouyou to where he wants to be, it only takes him so far, just within his grasp— 

Only to be taken away, the view of the summit was blocked from Shouyou once again. 

31-32, Seijoh advances over Karasuno. 

But despite this, Shouyou remembers every time he hit a perfect spike thanks to his and Kageyama’s quick, and remembers the feeling in his hands that he treasures more than anything else in his life. 

Shouyou starts running again, determined to catch up to the great king, Ushijima, Kageyama. 

He’s going to win. Karasuno has to win. Shouyou doesn’t think he would never be satisfied otherwise, but that isn’t as true as he thinks. 

A substantial fact of life about Shouyou Hinata: every win he gains makes him even more insatiable. His body aches for volleyball regardless of the outcome of the match. A boy like him will never be satisfied, he'll be a guy who will chase volleyball forever, like many people he’s come across in his life, but will keep running without any consideration of an alternative way of being.

Because the love of volleyball is something he’s been breathing since he was 11 years old, and the desire to win has been weighing on his bones since the day he promised Kageyama he would win with the background of the sunset behind them. So with that, he’ll keep on running toward what has set his soul on fire. 

◌◌◌

Shouyou truly realises that volleyball is a substantial fact of life for him when he truly sees the view past the hands of Aoba johsai, and when he savours the feeling of flying in the final play against shiratorizawa, and he couldn’t feel happier than the feeling he has in those moments. 

Shouyou is free. 

iv. 

The feeling doesn’t last. 

Kageyama is going to the All-Japan Youth training camp. Without Shouyou. 

Kageyama was going on ahead, to a place where Shouyou can’t follow him. Shouyou feels that light feeling dissipate, as if he hadn’t felt it at all.

Shouyou feels his lungs hurt a little bit more than usual, the pain reminds him to keep going. 

He can’t follow Kageyama, but that doesn’t mean he can’t follow Tsukishima. 

◌◌◌  
Tsukishima — as well as Coach Ukai and Daichi — were (evidently) upset with Shouyou’s actions, but he couldn’t really bring himself to care, he couldn’t let his teammates progress without him. 

Shouyou knows that the world will always make him work for the achievements that he wants, so he took the situation into his own hands. 

He just didn’t think being a ballboy would be such hard work, and there was virtually no time for him to play, the coach of Shiratorizawa personally saw to that, as if he had a vendetta toward Shouyou. But as he was sulking about his problems in between some equipment he had realised something. That doesn’t need to be a bad thing. 

Kageyama and Shouyou are very different people, both personality wise and in the context of volleyball. Shouyou has an incredible amount of stamina from the bike riding he’s always done, and found volleyball by chance, a random offering from the universe, whereas Kageyama has been playing volleyball since he was five years old, and was fated to play the sport since he was a baby with a volleyball in his mouth that he took from his sister. 

The point is, Shouyou has never been a natural like Kageyama, all he can do is try, and try and try, but he doesn’t see why he shouldn’t get some help from the people around him who are getting the opportunity to play outside an official match. 

Shouyou realised something that week as a ballboy, sometimes watching the action can be just as thrilling as chasing it. 

◌◌◌

Shouyou learns something else when returning to Karasuno.

The orange haired boy is walking up to the clubroom, following Tanaka who had the keys when he had heard, 

“Hey.” and Shouyou turned, curious as to what his partner had to say to him, their bickering about the Tiny giant Kageyama saw at the training camp already forgotten in both of their minds. “You can fly even higher.” 

And in a moment, Shouyou, a boy who never seems to stop talking, is shocked into silence. And maybe it’s the way Kageyama said the statement with such certainty, without any sort of doubt in the royal shade of his eyes, or maybe it was the statement itself that sent him into such a state of surprise. 

But regardless, they’re staring at each other now, everything they’ve always wanted to say being said through the unbreakable connection of their eyes, eyes that somewhere along the way, reminded Shouyou of the sanctuary he built when he first started playing the sport that brought them together. Until they were separated, not for the first time and not for the last time.

Shouyou learns that the feeling of assurance that someone gives to you can feel better than the freedom of volleyball. 

◌◌◌

The funny thing about life (which Shouyou appreciates immensely at this current moment) is that it will never stop surprising you. 

The match has reached its peak, with Karasuno just about behind the leaders, Inarizaki. Karasuno, known for their endless energy and variant attacks are tired and running out of tricks very quickly. 

Until something miraculous happened. 

There are rare occasions where, during a long training session or a match, there will be a single, miraculous play. The kind that will immediately raise spirits just thinking about it, and will instantly restore confidence in your heart. 

But let's clear something up, this was a long time coming for Shouyou. 

The act of a recieve is something that the orange haired boy was never able to properly master— like we’ve established, Shouyou isn’t a natural at playing volleyball, but he is insatiable— and this event doesn’t mean he’s mastered it, but he had worked blood sweat and tears for this moment to finally come into fruition. 

So, here's what happened: Aran spiked, while Shouyou was behind them, waiting for the opportunity that the world was about to put at his feet and put his arms together perfectly, to get the ball back to where it had come from. 

And if he’s being honest, Shouyou couldn’t really believe it happened either until his ears picked up on a certain setter, because they’re attuned to each other, intertwined. That’s the funny thing about having a partner.

“Nice receive!” 

Somewhere along the way, his raw instinct will evolve and transform and take the shape of intuition. 

Shouyou is picking up the pace, and getting one step closer to the people he’s so devoted to defeating, and he couldn’t be happier. 

He feels free once again, but like all good things, it can’t last. 

◌◌◌

With the execution of flying, comes the fear of falling, which is something Shouyou Hinata didn’t consider, too caught up in the excitement of what he loves so dearly. 

And with the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire, comes the risk of getting caught in the flame, and Shouyou felt warm.

Shouyou feels himself on the ground, not by choice, warmer than usual, this isn’t right. He can hear voices asking him if he’s okay, he can feel eyes of one Tobio Kageyama, not saying a word, just absorbing what he’s seeing in front of him and trying to ignore the guilt gnawing inside of him because I knew that there was something up with him, why didn’t i notice this sooner. 

Tadeka and the rest of the team insists on Shouyou being subbed out of the game, incredibly worried for him and disappointed with themselves for letting him push himself too close to the flames.  
This makes Shouyou irrationally angry, even if he regrets this when looking back.

It’s not everyday you see a 5’4 middle blocker trying to make their mark at the national competition for a game so dependent on height as volleyball. Why is that so hard for them to realise? 

Why can’t they understand? 

I want to play. I have to play. I’ll give everything if it means that I can play. 

But no matter how much he works for it, his height will always be what keeps him on the ground. It's a part of Shouyou. And despite his best efforts, he can’t outrun that. 

With this, and the promises of one Korai Hoshiumi and Atsumu Miya—promises have no expiry date, they last forever—, he leaves the nationals court, and doesn’t come back. 

Sometimes there isn’t a suspenseful end to these kinds of underdog stories, with loud cliche music and explosions and all of that shit you see in the movies. Sometimes it’s quieter, which makes it all the more suspenseful and heart wrenching. And sometimes, when a person is blocked off from what they want the most as much as Shouyou Hinata is, the underdogs don’t win. 

Just like this time. 

23-25. So close but so far out of Karasuno’s grasp. 

v. 

Time goes on, no matter how much you don’t want it to. Life continues as if the dent made in a day never existed at all. 

They had lost that year, and the ever reliable third years left the hands of their beloved team to the new eldest years. Time moves forward again and that same process repeats, taking us to where we are right now. 

Shouyou is with Coach Ukai and Tadeka, talking about his options once nationals are over and they have to move on from the nest they’ve made karasuno into. 

“So, Hinata-kun, you have so many options set out for you, what do you want to do?” 

The orange haired boy in question thinks back to the day he was told he was the only member of the boys volleyball club. 

What do you want to do? 

Shouyou thinks back to the time he had at Yukigaoka, passionate but naive. He remembers his first year and the highs and lows of his achievements in such little time, he thinks about yesterday, when he and Kageyama went to practice volleyball again to Yamaguchi’s dismay (he found them on account of intuition that they were overexerting themselves) in preparation for nationals, this is their last chance. 

He reminisces about how the hard times with Kageyama were always outshone by the good times they had in that comfortable silence they shared often, from their bike rides to their walks to class after practice. He thinks about them just having conversations about random things — shouyou talks, yama listens — which always find its way back to volleyball. Shouyou found that somewhere along the way, Kageyama became a substantial fact of life as well. 

But the world has got a different path for Shouyou in mind, one that isn’t by Kageyama’s side. The world has thrown another opportunity by Shouyou’s feet, and is waiting with curiosity to see if he’ll take the bait. 

He brings up the topic of beach volleyball to his coaches.

Shouyou takes the bait like he would fade into nothingness without it. 

vi.  
“So, what do you think so far?” His teammate asks him, still recovering from the intense first set. 

Brazil is still a brand new place for one Shouyou Hinata, and he doesn’t understand much (yet) but he’s getting there, and has had the spirit from the very beginning.

With a job that doesn’t allow for luxury but makes sure the bills are paid, and a really cool roommate, Brazil becomes more of a home to Shouyou every day, a place he’ll miss with his entire being eventually, that’s not something he has to worry about at this moment. 

But that isn't the point of him being here, not really. 

“Beach volleyball is,” Shouyou begins, with a moment passing while he considers.

(I’ll find you, Tobio. Shouyou tells him, with as much certainty as he can muster before he gets on a plane to Brazil and the monster duo separate, not for the first time, and not for the last time. 

He might as well have yelled to everyone in that airport on the day of the oranged haired boy’s departure to Brazil that he loved him, but that’s a conversation for later.

“You’d better, moron” Shouyou had someone waiting for his return, all the way back in Japan, and would give anything to be with him again. 

But how can Shouyou expect to find Tobio if he isn’t able to stand on his own two feet? He can’t stand next to the setter on the world stage if he doesn’t know himself and how to stand on his own. He needs more time, soon enough the feeling of missing the other will feel like a memory.) 

“Crazy.” 

And so, Shouyou inhales; 

He sees Tobio finally become the greatest monster — the scariest threat on an ordinary day. He has a lot of work to do for his job, but he was transfixed, enchanted, staring at a mini tv with an undeniable amount of pride knowing that’s his setter serving at the olympics (Tobio really is a genius) , but also watches the event with envy, knowing he can’t be next to him. 

So, what is he waiting for? He’s sitting idly while his setter is waiting for him, and that isn’t right at all.

Shouyou exhales, and runs after him. 

vii.  
Shouyou Hinata finally made it. He’s finally caught up to the person he’s been fated to fight for years now. 

The challenge posed between them lingers between them for years to come. Keeping them intertwined despite their initial protests. 

“I’m here!” Shouyou said with a contagious amount of joy in his voice. The sounds of ‘welcome home!’ can be heard if you’re looking for it. Shouyou hears it, and feels an overwhelming amount of joy settle in his chest, he finally notices that the weight in his bones and the ache in his lungs has disappeared. 

“Took you long enough.” 

They’ll never stop finding each other, that’s the funny thing about love. 

Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> Shouyou’s facts of life  
> the biggest revelations usually happen on the most ordinary days 
> 
> promises last forever
> 
> Life will never stop surprising you (he learns this more than once, and will continue to learn it, especially with someone like Kageyama by his side, for better or worse)
> 
> Hunger for victory doesn’t equal certain victory, you have to work for it
> 
> Sometimes the world will give you an opportunity, and sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands
> 
> Sometimes watching the action is just as thrilling as chasing it.
> 
> Someone believing in you can make you feel as free as that feeling when you hit a really good spike 
> 
> you can’t outrun who you are
> 
> you can’t stand next to someone if you don’t know how to stand on your own. 
> 
> AHHHHHHH i really hope you liked that!!! if you didn’t find this through me yelling about it on twitter follow me there!! @/stcrdust__  
> 


End file.
